Connect with us

Politics

Pros And Cons Of Congressional Term Limits

Published

on

Illustration for article titled Pros And Cons Of Congressional Term Limits

The number of long-serving, elderly members of Congress has continued debate over whether limiting how many terms they can serve would be beneficial, with detractors saying term limits could have negative consequences. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of congressional term limits.


PRO

Many politicians seem much happier as lobbyists, public speakers, and talk show pundits

Greater influx of fresh new ideas for funding the military

A statistically more sexually virile Congress

Euthanasia currently illegal

Would be fun to see all the scandals congressmen can cram into one final unaccountable term rather than spreading it over whole career


CON

Short stints at jobs look bad on resumes

Much easier to print ballots with same names on them every year

Do we really want former Michigan Rep. John Dingell to hold record for longest-serving congressman forever?

Can take some newly elected officials several terms to gather courage to speak in public

Exact type of check on power constitutional framers opposed

Source link

Politics

‘I Like This Candidate Now And Will Vote For Him,’ Says Area Man After Having To Watch 12th Bloomberg Ad In Single Day

Published

on

Illustration for article titled ‘I Like This Candidate Now And Will Vote For Him,’ Says Area Man After Having To Watch 12th Bloomberg Ad In Single Day

LEWISTON, ME—Announcing his newfound support for the former New York mayor, local Democratic voter Lucas Butterfield calmly stated, “I like this candidate now and will vote for him,” after seeing a Mike Bloomberg ad for the 12th time in a single day, sources confirmed Thursday. “The ninth ad didn’t really convince me, and I was on the fence for the 10th and 11th, but once I had seen my 12th commercial since waking up this morning, I suddenly realized Mike is the candidate for me,” said Butterfield, who explained that he had initially opposed the former Republican’s candidacy, but after the day’s encounter with a dozen print, TV, radio, billboard, and autoplaying digital ads, it now seemed obvious to him that Bloomberg was “the only man for the job.” “I like Mike. Mike is my candidate of choice. I will go to the polls and cast my ballot for Mike, and I will tell all my friends to vote for Mike too. I support Mike Bloomberg for president in 2020. Only Mike can get it done.” At press time, sources confirmed the man was speaking Bloomberg’s name over and over again with increasing urgency while he repeatedly walked into a wall.

Source link

Continue Reading

Politics

‘I’ll Show Those Pricks!’ Screams Mitt Romney Driving Busload Of Pregnant Women To Abortion Clinic After Being Disinvited To CPAC

Published

on

Illustration for article titled ‘I’ll Show Those Pricks!’ Screams Mitt Romney Driving Busload Of Pregnant Women To Abortion Clinic After Being Disinvited To CPAC

SALT LAKE CITY—Following the formal public announcement that he was no longer invited to the annual Conservative Public Action Conference, Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) reportedly screamed, “I’ll show those pricks!” Thursday while driving a busload of pregnant women to an abortion clinic. “They called me liberal, I’ll show them liberal—did you hear that, ladies, we’re all getting abortions!” shouted Romney, who shifted the bus carrying 48 women into high gear before careening wildly into the clinic’s lot and parking the vehicle diagonally across multiple spaces. “Out, out, everybody out! Sheila, Jen, hush that crying. I don’t care what term you’re on, I’ve got a score to settle. Did you hear what those assholes did to me? Get whatever you want back there because everything’s on me!” At press time, Romney had driven the bus to a nearby obstretician’s office and was waving a fistful of cash in the waiting room, offering $5,000 to anyone who would get an abortion.

Source link

Continue Reading

Politics

Obama Kind Of Hurt No One’s Even Asked For His Endorsement

Published

on

Illustration for article titled Obama Kind Of Hurt No One’s Even Asked For His Endorsement

WASHINGTON—Noting that he would happily lend his support to any candidate who just requested it, former President Barack Obama told reporters Friday he was kind of hurt no one in the 2020 Democratic field has even asked for his endorsement. “Look, I don’t want to toot my own horn here, but I’m a two-term president with significant pull among Democratic voters and I can’t help but feel a little bummed that no campaign has even raised the question of whether I’d consider endorsing them,” said the 44th commander in chief, stressing that he would happily express his full-throated approval for Amy Klobuchar, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders or any of the race’s other candidates if they had even so much as broached the topic with him during recent in-person conversations, email chains, and phone calls. “Especially Joe. I mean, I worked with the guy for eight years, and he hasn’t even reached out to test the waters. I’m not trying to overstate my significance, but it’s not crazy to think my vouching for what he did as vice president could really change the way this race shakes out, right? I mean, what the hell? I feel like a forgotten man over here.” At press time, the former president had sighed and started drafting an enthusiastic endorsement of Tulsi Gabbard after receiving a request from one of the representative’s assistants.

Source link

Continue Reading

Trending